By Vanamala Mayr-Reisch
Did you ever experience feeling out of place, insecure and wanted to hide? Or maybe you were always shy and never dared to be like “The Others”.
“The Others” always seemed confident, good looking and “out” there with their funky clothes or their latest haircut. But you felt clunky, too slim or too big, weird or maybe even a misfit.
Now, let’s see if they really felt so confident as they pretended to be.
I remember distinctively as a teenager I walked one day into my favourite Youth Centre, a place of fun and support for young people like myself who were looking for a stomping ground to find themselves.
I can’t remember exactly how it came to this particular moment, but out of the blue for no apparent reason, someone accused me of being arrogant and aloof and said that I behaved as if I was better than they were.
My heart started to race, my nails dug into my flesh and my knees buckled. I barely managed to hide behind a “stonewall”, an unwavering smile to avoid showing my vulnerability. With tears in my eyes, I left.
I didn’t feel better than anyone else; all I wanted was to do was fit in and be part of the fun. I had grown overnight into a beautiful, quite tall (170cm) young woman, whose hormones had hijacked her body. I was fourteen and tried to handle this new body and unknown feelings but didn’t know any better than to hide behind an arrogant facade.
At home, I struggled to come to terms with this accusation and didn’t know how to be any different. Shattered as I was, I continued to be exactly the same but avoiding that particular person. I didn’t understand what he wanted, nor did I have any help or strategy to be different.
This incident never left me. From that moment onwards, I knew that anyone, no matter how pretty they looked or how confident they seemed, had something entirely different going on inside. I knew from that moment onwards that the people who seem aloof are most of the time the most insecure and are terrified to be vulnerable.
Don’t believe that every person who is pretty and stays in the “lime-light” is confident and strong. Be assured that many are as insecure as you or, even worse, lonely and depressed.
This moment in my life was just the beginning of a journey to learn how to be strong in my vulnerability and how to allow people to see me.
Being at the place where I am right now, I must say it was worth going through the process of slowly learning to be strong from within.
As a face yoga practitioner, I can see how many people are afraid to be seen. Even though the moment they drop their mask and start walking as a new person, that moment is the most precious one to witness. I feel fortunate to work with people‘s faces. It is powerful and fascinating to see how small changes make significant differences.
If you want to learn how little changes can have a huge impact on the way you feel, then go to my next story and book a Face Yoga one-on-one consultation in person or online with me.
Go to next Article: Allow Yourself to Be Seen by Vanamala Mayr-Reisch